Today I have been here for officialy one week and I went on a rollercoaster of feelings. From happy to sad, laughing to crying and energetic to completely drained.
Not only me but the kids aswell.

On monday I got up at 6:45 to be ready at 7:30 at help in the morning, which was quite stressful because I didn't had I clue what they all had to do. They need to practice with their instrument, read, do their homework and get their stuff for school. Then I met Claire (the nanny who comes on monday and thursday) who after all of this dropped Charlotte, Logan and Duncan off at school. Then went to do activities with Rose untill half past 2 in the afternoon. So I was free from 10 to half past 2 but Claire asked if I wanted to be dropped off at Saffron Walden (small town, 10 minutes away from where we live). Yes I would love to go! So I wondered around Saffron Walden for about an hour when Claire came again to pick me up and bring me home. When all the kids got back home we decorateded eggs for the easter egg decorating compatision at school. Charlotte mad a flower, Logan minions and Duncan a chick.

On Tuesday I realised that being free from 10 in the morning till 3 in the afternoon is a really long time when you have no where to go and nothing to do. When Rose got home from pre-school a red her a story about a grizzly bear who is going to eat a rabbtit. At one point the grizzly bear is trying to eat the head from the rabbit, that is when Rose said to me that it isn't very polite to eat someones head. Which is very true!

Wednesday I had plans to meet Marie (a german au pair in Saffron walden). We had some lunch and chatted away. Marie is very nice and she likes the same things as me :) On wednesday all the kids (execpt Rose) have tennis and after tennis they always have tennis tea, which is just normal tea with some treats like smarties and biscuits. (for the people that don't know, tea is how they call supper).

Thursday wasn't a nice day for me I really struggled with the long time before the kids got home and I mostly just hang in bed untill they got home. I brought stroopwafels with me so I asked if they wanted to try them and they loved them!

Friday was the last schoolday before the easterbreak so there was a chruch service with all the children from Debden primairy school singing and telling the easter story. I always feel slightly out of place in a chruch because I never go there but the singing was really nice! Rose was really good during the service but after she was extremely fussy and quite the challange. When school was done Logan and Duncan brought friends over and we had a lovely tea with fish and chips.

Saturday I had a Skype conversation with my mum which was really nice but I properly cried most of the time while we were speaking because all of the new impressions and the thing about not having to do anything till 3 in the afternoon just was to much. You feel just alone and when you see your mum that feeling gets stronger. It not that I'm having a horrible time or anything but for some reason it's just really hard. In the evening I went to see a movie in Saffron walden with Marie. The dallas buyers club, it was so good!

Today I went to Cambridge and it was so surreal to just take the train and BAM in 20 minutes you're in Cambridge. We (Marie and I) walked around and looked at all the colleges most of the time and went into Waterstones (an amazing bookstore!). Then we headed back to Saffron walden to meet up with Lisa and Sara (two other au pairs).

During the week I thought allot about how I was as a child. Did I also get mad about really small silly things and made a big fuss about it? Did Jasper and I argument often? What did Iike when I was that age? Did I switch feelings that many times? I am just amazed by how quick they get angry and switch feelings. Don't get me wrong the children and andrew and amelia are really nice and lovely but is just a big transion to make.

This week I am going to look for a lunguage school and I'm goin to have a look at the gym in Saffron walden and get a book to learn how to play the piano. So that I don't get bored during the time that I am free.